


Do You Even Roomba?

by CrowleyLovesUSUK



Series: Crowley Makes You Sin [8]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Bottom Dean Winchester, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Semi-Public Sex, Sex in/on the Impala (Supernatural), Shirtless Dean Winchester, Socially Awkward Castiel (Supernatural), Top Castiel (Supernatural), Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, castiel has a big dick, pop culture references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-21
Updated: 2019-08-21
Packaged: 2020-09-23 10:54:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20338954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrowleyLovesUSUK/pseuds/CrowleyLovesUSUK
Summary: Castiel Novak is all grown up and moving into his very first home.  Since he’s a “responsible adult” now, his prankster brother forgoes the usual sex toy present and gives Cas something actually useful for his housewarming—a Roomba vacuum.  Unfortunately, Cas’ first act as homeowner is to somehow let his new Roomba escape.  And as if it isn’t embarrassing enough, his mouth-wateringly sexy new neighbor volunteers to join the hunt.  Has Cas lost his chance at a good first impression?  After all, what kind of man would fall for a guy who unleashed a robot on the neighborhood?





	Do You Even Roomba?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BabysNotaProp (SuzetteB)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuzetteB/gifts).

> I do not own Supernatural or any of the other fandoms/media/robotic products mentioned in this story. I'm just tossing it all in a big stainless steel mixing bowl with some cocoa powder and hoping for delicious PWP brownies.
> 
> This is for the amazing BabysNotaProp (SuzetteB). Congrats on 500 kudos for "The Offering!" You (and that story) deserve all the kudos!! (Ps--If you haven't read her phenomenal fic with Preacher's Son, Dean and Incubus!Cas then do so immediately!!
> 
> This idea was born from the tweet from @DrExpat_ which reads, "I LEFT MY FRONT DOOR OPEN AND MY ROOMBA JUST WENT OUT AND I CAN'T FIND IT. WHAT ARE THE CONSEQUENCES OF THIS. IT HAS NO NATURAL PREDATORS." 
> 
> I also didn't want to work on the other WIPs I have in progress because, as Barney Stinson once said, "New Is Always Better." Plus I really wanted to try out some steamy Impala Sex. So without further ado...

In all honesty, Castiel was thrilled with the housewarming gift from his brother. A Roomba vacuum was a perfectly normal and acceptable gift for one’s first home. Usually, Gabriel would give him something ludacris, embarrassing, and perverted; like the chocolate dildo for Cas’ last birthday. However, for the first time, Gabe had come through for him and Cas couldn’t have been happier. Vacuuming wasn’t his favorite chore; and as a writer who worked from home, he required his space to be in order. Castiel was excited to simply press a button and walk away, knowing that the dreaded task would be completed without him. 

On the first day in his new home, Castiel painstakingly followed all of the directions on setting the robot up. He decided upon the ideal place for it to be stored in his laundry room, and made sure that it was running perfectly before plugging it in to charge. The instructions informed him that it would be about two hours before the Roomba would be ready, so Cas set about unpacking a few boxes to pass the time. 

Deciding to start in the kitchen so that he’d be able to find his coffee maker for the next morning, Cas set to work. There were large bay windows that looked out of the breakfast nook, and every so often, Cas would catch movement from the corner of his eye. His next door neighbor was keeping busy as well. As Castiel unpacked more dishes and mugs, he watched as his neighbor mowed the lawn, trimmed the bushes between their houses, and washed his gorgeous classic car.

When the man stripped off his tight grey shirt, leaving only a pair of well-worn jeans to wash the vehicle, Cas actually stopped and stared. Even from a distance, Castiel could make out the rippling muscles of the man’s back as he bent over the hood, carefully soaping the car under the hot sun. Cas gulped. He didn't want to risk being caught—it would make a terrible first impression. Gathering his willpower, he allowed himself one more full minute of outright creeping before he waddled away from the windows, cursing the fact that the sight of his neighbor working outside had him half hard.

After emerging from the bathroom ten minutes later, no longer erect, and feeling incredibly relaxed, Castiel paused to check on the Roomba. The circular robot showed that it was ready to use, and Castiel figured that he may as well run the thing to see if it worked to his standards. Pressing the button in the center, Castiel stepped backward as the robot beeped cheerfully as it took off and began to clean. 

When he walked back into the kitchen, he could see his neighbor still washing the car, and Cas deliberately turned his back to the window as he opened another box. He was just putting away his silverware when the doorbell rang.

Castiel frowned. He wasn’t expecting anyone until the next day, except perhaps his brother. Gabriel mentioned bringing dinner over after work; but since his elder sibling was distracted by anything remotely interesting or sparkly, Cas wasn’t about to hold his breath for food. His curiosity was assuaged when he opened the door to reveal two men in grey uniforms, and a large box truck in the driveway. 

They both smiled at him, and one even waved happily. “Hey there,” the man closest to Castiel said. He brushed his long hair behind his ears as he spoke. “I’m Ash. This is Garth. We have a new mattress for you.”

Garth motioned toward the truck, and Cas could see a mattress wrapped in plastic ready to be unloaded. “Wonderful,” Cas said. “I wasn’t expecting delivery until tomorrow. I was planning on sleeping on the sofa tonight.”

“Well that sure wouldn’t do your back any good,” Garth said. 

“No shit,” Ash said, seemingly unconcerned about dropping foul language in front of a customer. 

“I’m just glad we could get it here for you,” Garth said. 

Castiel moved away from the open front door and followed the two men out to their truck. He watched for a few moments as they worked together to unload the bulky mattress, exchanging quips. They moved seamlessly, and it was obvious that the two delivery workers were friends. Ash was more likely to toss out a curse when things didn’t go as planned, while Garth seemed to go with the flow. By the time the mattress was out of the truck, Cas noticed that his attractive neighbor was subtly watching them, while scrubbing the same spot repeatedly.

“Where do you want it?” Ash asked.

“The Master Bedroom please,” Cas said. “I can show you.” He walked back to the house, Ash and Garth staggering behind him with the heavy mattress. Cas looked back over his shoulder when he reached the door and locked eyes with his neighbor. The both looked away hurriedly, and Cas dashed inside his home. 

He led Ash and Garth to his room and showed them where he had his bed frame positioned. The plastic protector was removed, the mattress placed in its home, and Cas suddenly had a bed again. Smiling and shaking hands with both men, Castiel made sure to give them each a handsome tip for the early delivery. He stood in the door and watched as the delivery truck pulled away and down the street. 

Shutting the front door finally, Castiel walked back into the kitchen. His things weren’t going to unpack themselves. With a sigh, he reached into the box he’d been working on and unwrapped a lemon scented candle. As Castiel took a moment to sniff the wax, he realized that the house sounded quiet. More quiet than it had earlier. For a few seconds, his mind churned. The telltale whir of the vacuuming robot was missing.

The Roomba!

Cas launched, pushing off of the kitchen counter and running, panicked, through each room of his house. He was met with only silence. Walking over to the Roomba’s charging port, he stared at the empty holder, blinking in confusion. It was then that the last half hour played through Castiel’s mind in a horror show of quick flashes. The Roomba. The doorbell. Ash’s mullet. The mattress. The  _ front door _ being  _ open  _ for who knows how long!

He blinked once, and then looked up at the door. The robot must have gotten outside when the mattress was being delivered. It obviously wasn’t in the house any longer. When he finally forced himself to look into his front yard, Cas strained his ears, listening. He thought that perhaps he’d heard something along the side of the house. He’d have to go out and find the damn thing. 

Muttering under his breath, Cas rushed outside. He left the door open again, in case the wayward robot decided to come back on its own. Moving through the yard along the side of his house, Cas kept his eyes mostly on the ground. He  _ did _ happen to notice that his neighbor was no longer washing the car. The driveway next door was empty. 

He walked along the side of his house, stepping over various flowers and around a few thorny bushes that he vowed to get rid of as soon as possible. After yet another spine gouged his calf, Castiel hopped back out into the grass, pressing his hand to his bleeding leg with a curse. 

This was ridiculous. Castiel couldn’t recall a time that he felt so tremendously irresponsible. Why on earth had he left the door open for so long? What was going to happen to his vacuum? Robots had no natural predators in the wild—it could come across a squirrel, or even neighbor’s pet, and cause harm. Cas wasn’t sure he could handle things if his appliance committed creature-cide. 

He also didn’t know how he would face his brother if he ended up losing the only decent gift Gabriel had ever given him. He’d never live it down and Gabriel would spend the rest of his life giving Cas useless presents like edible underwear, when he  _ knew  _ how Cas felt about processed sugar! 

Picturing a future of holidays filled with inappropriate  _ things _ molded in jello, fuzzy handcuffs whose keys weren’t quite reliable, and raunchy DVDs, gave Castiel a headache. He could even hear Gabriel’s mocking voice laughing as he said, “Well, you couldn’t handle the damn robot, so now you don’t get big kid gifts, Cassie!”

“Fuck off, Gabriel,” Cas muttered. Great. Now he was having imaginary arguments with his brother who wasn’t even there. Apparently the stress of moving was getting to him. 

He could hear the rustling again, which snapped him out of his musings. It seemed to be near the hedges separating his property from his neighbor’s. Unsure of what to do, Castiel clapped his hands together awkwardly as he limped, half bent over along the edge of the bushes. “Hello, Roomba,” he called out lowly. “Roomba, where are you?” 

This was fucking embarrassing.

He heard a twig snap, and a metallic whir, from his neighbor’s yard, just on the other side. However, the branches were so dense that he couldn’t peer through them easily. Grumbling, Cas dropped inelegantly to the ground and tried to see if he could see any movement from that angle. The clicking noises he thought he’d heard had stopped. 

Perhaps the robot would prefer to answer to a name. Castiel could think of only one off of the top of his head. His favorite Star Wars character, to be exact. “Artoo?” He tried. Nothing. Of course his poor excuse of a ‘droid’ wouldn’t respond to R2-D2. 

He inched along the ground, the cool mud under the bushes seeping into the knees of his pants. He couldn’t believe that this was his life. If anyone could see him, then he probably looked insane. That was enough. Castiel decided that it was time to give up. 

He grunted out, “Assbutt,” as he hefted himself into a standing position, trying to brush himself off. As he stood to his full height, he locked onto a pair of shoes, which were attached to legs. Someone else’s legs, which were currently standing in his yard, watching Cas have a minor meltdown. His gaze trailed up and met a pair of vibrant green eyes, only inches from his face. Castiel gasped, but didn’t move away. He was transfixed on the beauty of the man in front of him—his hot, shirtless neighbor. 

“I’m not quite sure what an ‘assbutt’ is, but it doesn’t sound good,” the man said. Cas just stared, his lips twitching without a sound. His neighbor smiled at him. “I’m Dean. I live next door.”

“I know,” Castiel finally managed to form coherent words.

Dean reached up and scratched the back of his neck. If Castiel didn’t know better, he’d think that his hot neighbor was nervous. “I’m sort of afraid to ask why you’re crawling around in the mud talking to Star Wars characters,” Dean said. 

“You enjoy Star Wars?” Cas’ lips quirked, hopefully. 

Gabriel had introduced him to the sci-fi epic when they were young; but their older siblings, Michael and Anna, had always made fun of them. And Cas was the first to admit that he didn’t have many friends, which limited the amount of people he knew who would marathon his favorite movies. Basically just Gabriel—which could be trying, to say the least. He did love his brother, but Gabriel was best taken in small doses.

“Love it,” Dean grinned. “Charlie and I get together once a month and watch the original trilogy in a single night.” 

Cas couldn’t help but smile. Perhaps if he played his cards right, he would find himself with an invitation to join. “She knows more trivia than I can comprehend,” Dean continued, dashing Cas’ hopes. This Charlie was a woman. That probably meant it was a date night kind of thing. 

“You should see her when we get to ‘Return of the Jedi’ though,” Dean chuckled. “Even if she’s fallen into a dead sleep, she’ll wake up just to ogle Princess Leia in that damn gold bikini.”

Cas blinked.  _ That _ was interesting information. “She, um,” he stammered. “Charlie prefers the company of other women?” Fuck, he hoped she did—he  _ really  _ hoped she did. 

“Dude, Charlie’s gayer than I am, and that’s saying something.”

His eyes bugged out at that and he made a strangled sound. “Gay?” His heart was fluttering. He couldn’t breathe. The hot neighbor was gay and he liked Star Wars and his pecs looked so  _ firm _ and—

“That a problem?” Dean was watching him closely now; those gorgeous green eyes narrowed, waiting.

It took a beat for Castiel to gather his thoughts and suck in a breath. “Me,” he pointed to himself excitedly. Okay, maybe he hadn’t managed to wrest control of his brain just yet. Dean was looking at him strangely once more. Cas shook his head and then nodded, which made him feel bleary. “Gay,” he tried again. 

_ ‘What the fuck, Novak?’ _ He thought.  _ ‘Get it together!’ _

“You’re gay too?” Dean was smiling a bit at him and looking endlessly amused at Cas’ verbal failings. 

He allowed himself a sarcastic grunt before schooling his features his usually sedate look before saying, “Yes. That’s what I was implying. I too,” he gestured with his hand, “am gay. I have been my whole life.” Shit, now he was being weird again. 

“Yeah,” Dean chuckled. “Me too. But I did tap dance across the line into chicks for a while in high school.” Dean made a theatrical shudder with his entire body, drawing a smile from Cas. 

“I did not,” Castiel confessed. “Mostly because I’m...odd.”

“I don’t think you are,” Dean smiled. “I mean, besides the whole ‘creeping through the bushes’ thing.” Castiel rolled his eyes and Dean grinned. “What were you doing down there anyway?”

“My Roomba escaped.”

Dean wrinkled his nose and looked at Castiel strangely. “Isn’t Roomba some kind of workout for middle-aged ladies?”

“No,” Castiel told him. “That would be Zumba.”

“You’re right,” Dean snapped his fingers and smiled. “My kid brother Sammy’s done that shit a few times. He’s obsessed with working out and eating fucking vegetables.” Dean rolled his eyes. “You’d never catch me dancing around wearing a leotard in public.”

“That’s not,” Cas cut himself off and shook his head. “Never mind.” He vaguely wondered if Dean would do it in private, but he bit his tongue. “A Roomba is a robotic vacuum.”

He didn’t miss the way that Dean’s nose scrunched before his neighbor said, “A robot? What’s wrong with using a regular vacuum like a normal person? You know that one day, robots will become sentient, and that’s how Terminators happen.”

Castiel managed half a smile at the mention of one of his other favorite sci-fi series. “Seeing as August fourth, nineteen ninety-seven is long past, I think we have safely avoided Skynet.” Dean chuckled at that, which made Cas’ stomach flutter. “Also, I despise vacuuming. It’s my least favorite chore. I’ll risk the robot.” His eyes met Dean’s and they gazed at one another for a beat before Cas continued. “If I can find the damn thing, that is.”

“Let me help you,” Dean offered with a smile and a hitch in his voice. 

“No,” Castiel said, missing the crestfallen look of his companion. “I couldn’t possibly ask. I don’t want to put you out.”

“You wouldn’t be,” Dean insisted. “Trust me. I’m done with all I was going to do today. I can help you look for your escaped robot and then maybe we could have dinner?” When Cas didn’t respond, Dean added, “Together?”

Something warm washed over Cas’ whole being at the suggestion. The thought of spending more time with this man was intoxicating. He found himself nodding and agreeing to Dean’s assistance before he could talk himself out of the whole thing. 

Normally, Cas avoided devastatingly attractive men for fear of rejection. No amount of his (few) friends opinions, or his brother’s assurances that Castiel was also downright sexy made a dent on his rather low self-esteem. His editor, Meg, had slapped him upside the head on numerous occasions when he’d made disparaging comments about himself. Of course, Gabriel said that it was because Meg wanted to sleep with him; but Castiel knew that was obviously just his brother making things up.

Dean was watching him with trepidation, shifting on his toes, his plump lower lip caught between blindingly white teeth. “It’s fine if you don’t want to,” Dean said. “But at least let me help you look for the vacuum.”

“Of course,” Castiel managed. “Of course I would love your help. And,” he paused. “Dinner sounds lovely as well. Although, I haven’t gone to the grocery store yet.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Dean chuckled, clapping a hand on Castiel’s shoulder. “I’ve got a ribeye  _ and _ a baked potato with your name on it.”

“That sounds wonderful,” Cas smiled. 

Their eyes locked again, holding, searching. Suddenly, Dean cleared his throat awkwardly and snatched his hand away. “Let’s see if we can find the damn thing,” he stammered as he stepped backward. 

Castiel blinked, trying to clear his mind from thoughts of those enthralling green eyes; or the more urgent desire to see exactly how Dean’s stubble would feel on his thighs. He nodded blankly. “I thought that I heard it around these bushes. That’s why I was on my knees. Down there.” He felt ridiculous. Most likely, Dean had worked that much out for himself. What if he thought that Cas was an awkward, babbling, mess? He hoped that wasn’t the case. 

The flush rising on Dean’s cheeks at his words just made Cas find him even more delectable. “So, neighbor,” Dean said as they began to move through the yard, listening for the vacuum. “I didn’t actually get your name.”

Oh, Christ. He was such an idiot. Cas couldn’t begin to imagine a more thoroughly awkward first meeting. There was no way that Dean would even want to be  _ friends  _ with him after this entire disaster. What kind of a dumbass accepts help from someone without introducing themselves? He was so lost in self-flagellation that he hadn’t responded for a while. Dean was watching him warily. “So,” Dean paused. “What  _ is  _ your name?”

His shoulders slumped. He sucked at this. “Castiel,” he managed finally.

With his response, Dean brightened considerably. “That’s an...interesting name,” Dean smiled at him.

Cas snorted. He was used to people wondering why his parents had given him such a strange first name. “It’s the name of the angel of Thursday,” he explained. “My parents were religious scholars. All of my siblings are named after angels. Michael, Gabriel, and my sister Anael. Though, she legally changed her name to Anna just after her eighteenth birthday to spite our father.”

As they walked, watching and listening for the Roomba, Dean asked Cas more and more about himself. “Why would your sister want to spite your dad?”

He shrugged, and quirked his lips. “Father was very rigid. He wanted all of us to go into the family business.”

“Which is?”

“Security.” Castiel turned slightly away from Dean. “We were all to enlist in the military, and then join father’s private firm afterwards. Only Michael complied. As the oldest, he joined up at eighteen, put in his four years, and went straight to our father when he was done. Gabriel is five years younger than Michael, and always made his distaste for being a soldier well known. On his birthday, he packed a bag and walked out. Essentially he ran away from home. Anna was next, two years later, and she applied for colleges behind father’s back, getting a full ride. She’s a rather famous painter now. I did the same and went to college as well. Gabriel reached out to me during my first week of undergrad. We were always close, and still are, now that I’ve found him again.” Cas stilled. He hadn’t meant to reveal all that much.

“What do you do?” Dean seemed genuinely interested and he appeared to have sensed Castiel’s discomfort.

“I’m a writer.”

“That’s badass,” Dean looked impressed. “I’m more in your dad’s line of work though, I hope you don’t hold it against me.” When Cas looked at him quizzically, he shrugged sheepishly. “I’m the Head of Security at Skyrealm,” Dean named a popular amusement park nearby. Cas actually chuckled out loud, shaking his head in amusement. “What?”

“Gabriel works there as well,” he said.

“No shit?” Dean looked surprised. “I don’t think I know a Gabriel at work. What does he do?”

“He designs most of the attractions,” Castiel said. “The new rollercoaster, Cupid’s Flight, is his baby.”

“I can imagine,” Dean said. “That coaster has been in development for almost three years. My team is going nuts with the crowd increases because of that thing.” He paused and looked over at Cas, biting that tempting lower lip once more. “I didn’t design it, but I have a baby of my own,” he said.

“You do?” Castiel tilted his head. Did Dean have children? He hadn’t seen any in the neighborhood thus far.

Dean nodded and put his hand on Cas’ lower back, putting enough pressure to guide him over toward Dean’s driveway. When they pulled level with the muscle car that Dean had been washing earlier, Cas blinked when Dean gestured to the vehicle saying, “Here she is. My best girl.”

There was a long pause as Cas looked between Dean and the shining Chevy in the drive. “The car?”

“Damn straight,” Dean laughed, tugging Cas closer to it. “And she’s more than just a car, Cas.”

He let Dean lead him all around it, listening indulgently as his neighbor gushed over the original leather seats and some sort of doohickey that he’d found at auction for the engine. Cas had never been good with cars, so he wasn’t following everything that Dean had said. As they pulled back around to the front, Dean smoothly gripped the driver’s side door and pulled it open. He gestured to the seat and smiled widely. “Go on, Angel,” he said. “See how she feels.”

Breath catching at the nickname, and wanting to do anything to keep that heartstopping grin on Dean’s face, Castiel ducked and gingerly sat in the driver’s seat. Dean leaned into the car, happily pointing out a few things. Cas wasn’t listening. He was wholly focused on the close proximity of their bodies, and how he seemed to shiver whenever Dean’s arm would brush him. Their heads were so close, that Cas could feel Dean’s breath in his hair. Unconsciously, he turned and almost knocked his nose into Dean’s. They both froze.

Dean recovered first, sucking in a breath. Cas could see the man’s adam’s apple moving. He wanted to run his tongue along it so desperately. It was taking everything in him to not grab Dean’s face and just kiss him. “I don’t let just anyone sit there,” Dean told him, his voice hoarse. “So you must be special, Angel.” Their eyes caught and held, and everything around them seemed to stop. Cas could see the fraction of movement that Dean made toward him. Magnetic.

Without warning, Dean blinked and pulled back, causing Cas to tilt his head, reeling. He had thought there was something there—something profound. He couldn’t have been wrong. Dean was completely out of the car now and Cas wasn’t sure what to do. His thoughts were tangled as he tried to figure out how to interpret the situation. Perhaps he was mistaken in the mutual attraction. Most likely, Dean was in a relationship. The thought hit him like an icy wave. That had to be it. Dean was much too attractive to be single. He tried not to let his disappointment show as he smiled up at his neighbor, running his fingers lightly along the steering wheel.

The hope that inched into Dean’s voice was obvious when he asked, “What do you think, Cas?”

The tone was enough to give Castiel pause. He wished with everything in him that the signals Dean was sending him were genuine. He knew that he had to test the waters. If Dean had a lover, then he would certainly be clear about it. Even in their short acquaintance, Dean didn’t seem the type to cheat. He figured that the best way to Dean’s heart was through his ‘Baby,’ so Cas dove in without any more second guessing. “It’s beautiful, Dean,” Cas said. He smiled as Dean preened at the compliment, knowing that he’d taken the right tack. “What year is she?”

“A sixty-seven,” Dean replied. “Here,” Dean opened the door to the backseat and motioned to Cas. “You’ve gotta check her out all over, man. She’s worth it.”

Eager to please, Castiel slid out of the driver’s seat and re-entered the car. There was a surprising amount of leg-room in the back, and he commented on it. “Yeah,” Dean chuckled. “There’s room back there for a lot of things.”

“Is there room for more than one person?” Cas asked, unable to help himself. It was worth it to watch the blush creep up Dean’s features.

Despite the telltale redness on his cheeks, Dean managed a smooth wink as his body moved into the car, next to Castiel. “More cozy with two, don’t you think, Angel?”

He didn’t think—he simply acted. Cas knew that Dean most likely had a partner, but the flirting and the touches were just so bold that it made him question. He hadn’t quite worked out what Dean’s angle was, but he couldn’t resist any longer. Castiel pushed his shoulder off of the back of the seat, latching his hands onto Dean’s face, as he pulled the other man into a scorching kiss. 

There was a single beat where Dean remained frozen in his arms before Cas was being kissed back with more fire than he’d ever known. Dean’s lips were soft and yielding; begging for Cas’ touch. He pressed himself into Castiel’s body, swinging his leg over Cas’s thigh, straddling his lap across the leather bench seat. Fingers ran through Castiel’s already messy hair, tugging lightly. A tongue pushed persistently into his mouth, wordlessly screaming for more; and Castiel broke. 

With a harsh gasp, he pulled back and looked deep into lust blown green eyes. “I’m sorry,” Cas stammered. 

“What?” Dean was suddenly panicky, his hands fisting into Castiel’s shirt. “Why?”

Cas conveyed his distress with a suddenly rigid posture and inability to even look at Dean. “I didn’t even  _ ask _ if you would be amenable to—“

Dean cut him off with a firm kiss. Castiel lost his breath, his principles, and his reserve all at once. The feel of Dean in his arms was so thoroughly satisfying that Cas couldn’t have pulled away for anything. When Dean finally broke their embrace, Cas blinked owlishly at the shirtless man perched in his lap. “You’re available then?” He bit his lip, daring to hope. 

“Available  _ and _ amenable, you weirdo,” Dean grinned at him teasingly.

“Thank god,” Cas wrapped his arms around Dean’s waist, tugging the other man to his chest as they clashed together once more. Dean’s lips were warm and plush, calling out to him. Cas wasted no time delving into Dean’s hot mouth, raining affection on the other man. 

Dean’s hands were fumbling with Cas’ pants impatiently as he ground down with his hips. Cas could feel Dean’s raging excitement through his jeans and all it did was spur on their movements. Cas’ hands slid down, pushing at Dean’s loose, denim waistband. The well-worn jeans were riding dangerously low on Dean’s hips already. It didn't take much to force them down, exposing the paler skin of Dean’s firm ass cheeks.

“Dean,” Cas’ voice was rough as his fingers sunk into the soft, pliant flesh. 

“Yeah, Cas.” Dean sounded gutted as his breath hitched on Castiel’s name. 

He lifted himself up, pulling his jeans and boxers the rest of the way down his legs. The cramped confines of the backseat of the Impala almost caused their heads to knock together in their haste. Dean was contorted in a few awkward positions before he managed to remove his few remaining pieces of clothing. 

Castiel reached out for Dean’s hips, aching for more, but his lover twisted and grabbed a small duffel bag sitting on the floorboard next to them. He tilted his head in confusion as Dean rummaged around in the bag. His unvoiced questions were answered when Dean pulled out a half empty bottle of lube and a string of foil wrapped condoms. 

Before Cas could register anything, Dean was settled back into his lap, fully naked. His fingers were nimbly unfastening Cas’ own pants, eager hands diving inside. Dean’s plush lips were sucking deep bruises into Cas’ neck as he impatiently exposed Castiel’s thick, dripping cock. 

Everything was hands and teeth, lips, sighs, and urgent touches. Turning his head to look down, he saw Dean writhing, one hand gripping Cas’s dick, the other pumping into his own hole. Cas hadn't even seen Dean open the lube in his haze of lust. He shifted, catching Dean’s lips and ran his hands feather-light down his lover’s sides. “You’re so beautiful, Dean,” Cas told him between kisses. 

Dean grunted. Whether from disbelief, or the sensation of being prepped, Cas didn’t know. It could have been seconds, or hours, when Dean finally stopped, and grabbed one of the condoms. He ripped the packet open with his teeth and immediately set to work rolling it down. 

Unable to help himself, Cas watched, mesmerized by the clever fingers touching him. Dean’s own long, erection was bobbing between their bodies, just barely resting on the chiseled skin of Dean’s abs. Cas gripped the spongy head and ran his thumb over the slit, rubbing precum across the tip. Dean’s head fell back in a moan, but he kept dutifully fixing the condom in place. 

Cas toyed with Dean. He was happy to watch the other man rock in his lap, eyes half shut in ecstasy. They ground together once more before Dean grabbed the lube and coated his hand. He ran his palm along Castiel’s cock, slicking his hard length. “Cas,” Dean breathed. He was biting his lower lip, an erotic habit that Cas thought would surely kill him. A sheen of sweat glistened over his nude body as Dean raised himself up, hovering over Cas. “Want you so bad, Angel.”

Cas could feel the round head of his prick rubbing at Dean’s entrance. His sexy neighbor’s ass parted, surrounding him as Dean lowered himself down at an agonizing pace. He could feel his fingertips digging into Dean’s waist, doing his best to not force the other man to hurry. Cas dropped his head back onto the seat, his eyes closed, his lips parted. 

Despite the prep, and lube, Dean seemed to be having some trouble adjusting to Cas’ massive girth. He was only about halfway down when he stopped, his head resting on Castiel’s shoulder, breath puffing with exertion. “Damn, Cas,” Dean chuckled. “You’re killing me, man.”

“Stop,” Cas managed. “We can stop.” At least his brain was still working. His dick was screaming for Dean to take him fully, but Cas himself was still minutely coherent. 

“No way,” Dean lifted his head, green eyes sparkling as they met Cas’ gaze. “Good killing me. I’ve never had a cock this big, and I’ll be damned if I don’t get it.” He winked playfully and inched himself down a bit more, groaning happily. “Fuck, this is amazing!”

Cas had to agree. He felt so encased in Dean’s heat, the snug fit begging him to thrust. He forced himself to hold back and allow Dean to go at his own pace. They grunted and moaned together, through harsh kisses, as Dean slowly impaled his body on Castiel’s wide girth. 

Once Dean was fully seated, they kissed furiously while Dean’s body acclimated to the split and burn. Soon enough, Dean began rocking his hips, moving enough on Cas to spur him on. “Fuck me, Cas,” Dean whispered in Castiel’s ear as he nibbled on the shell. “Fuck me with your fat cock. Please, Angel.” He squeezed his muscles, taunting. “I want it hard.”

Who was Castiel to deny such a demand? He thrust up with his hips, fucking himself deep into Dean, making his partner gasp. “Yeah, Cas,” Dean was smiling, his head tilted back. “Fuck me so good! So full, baby! Yes!”

Balancing on his knees, hands gripping Castiel’s shoulders, Dean bounced in Cas’ lap, fucking himself harshly. “Oh, fuck yes—I want it—I want  _ you _ ! Cas!”

The continuous babble, praising Cas’ dick and begging, pleading for a harsh fucking, only drove Castiel further. Dean wanted it rough, and apparently liked dirty talk; and Cas wanted only to please the gorgeous man writhing against him.

Running his hands down Dean’s sweat-slicked, naked flesh, Cas grabbed fistfuls of that perfect ass and held on. He kneaded his fingers deep, asking with a touch for more. Dean was gasping, riding his dick, lashes fluttering.

Looking between their bodies, Cas was struck at the erotic sight of his clothed body in contrast to Dean’s nudity. His lover’s long dick, swaying with the motion as Dean fucked himself wildly on Cas. “Dean,” Castiel said the man’s name like a prayer; over and over. “Gorgeous Dean.”

Continuing to squeeze Dean’s firm ass, Cas moved his other hand to grasp Dean’s rock hard cock. He gave a few light strokes, flicking his thumb across the tip, reveling in the sounds that Dean made. “You’re such a beautiful, good boy for me, Dean.”

“Yes, Cas.” Dean rocked harder at the praise, his cheeks flushing. 

Whether it was from exertion or simply happiness at his words, Cas didn’t know. All he cared about was how good he felt—how good Dean was making him feel. “The things I want from you, Dean.”

“Tell me,” Dean demanded, shifting his thighs so Castiel’s cock angled deeper inside of him. “Tell me something Cas--what you want to do to me. Something so fucking dirty.”

Castiel grunted, pushing his hips up to rub along Dean’s prostate. His movement was accurate, and Dean keened loudly. Cas was sure that the whole neighborhood could hear them, fucking like teenagers in the back of a car, doors wide open. In that moment, he didn’t care. 

Dean was panting his name, and when Castiel glanced up, their eyes locked. Watching Castiel through his thick lashes, Dean’s plump, pink, lips were parted as he gasped with exertion. Fuck, he was beautiful. Cas wanted nothing more than to  _ wreck  _ him.

“I want you on all fours, begging for me while I finger you open,” Castiel hissed into Dean’s ear. His lover’s dick was leaking enough that Cas was stroking him fully, the warm flesh of Dean’s cock pulsing in his grip. “I’d stretch you so wide, you’d be begging for me.”

“Yes, Cas! Oh fuck yeah!”

“But I wouldn’t fuck you—no.” Cas smirked as Dean’s bucking stuttered at his words. “No, Dean. I’d plug your ass up tight with a thick toy. Let you dress and go about your day all stuffed up, thinking of me.” Dean was riding him rough once more, gasping for air and choking on Castiel’s name. “Wanna watch you bend over, washing this car, knowing your ass was full—just for me.”

“So good to me, Cas!”

“I bet you’d like that. Wouldn’t you, Dean? Have your tight little ass all stuffed up—acting like everything is normal, no one but us knowing what a dirty, filthy, slut you are.”

“Oh, Cas,” Dean groaned. 

“Such a good slut for me, Dean.” Cas twisted his wrist as he jerked Dean’s cock. He was so close to cumming himself, but he wanted to watch Dean tumble over that edge first.

“Just for you,” Dean was babbling again, his ass grinding down.

“Would you wear your plug at work for me, Dean?” Cas’ strokes were firm and fast. He wasn’t sure if Dean was trying to fuck his dick into Cas’ hand, or impale his ass on Cas’ cock more. Dean whimpered as he rode, chasing his orgasm, which was just out of reach. “I think you would,” Cas said, his voice husky. “You would want everyone to know what a good little whore you are.  _ My _ whore.”

Cas nipped at Dean’s earlobe and gave one final pull as Dean came violently, clamping his inner muscles powerfully around Cas’ enormous cock. Thick, pearly, strands of come covered Cas’s hand. Dean’s warm seed was on both of them; seeping into Castiel’s shirt, and sliding down Dean’s clenched abs. It was fucking gorgeous. 

The force of Dean’s orgasm was visibly draining. He collapsed limply against Cas’ chest. Arms looped around his neck, and Dean’s forehead rested on Castiel’s shoulder as his whole body trembled. His weight settled as he clung bonelessly to Cas, his muscles still twitching from the effort of his climax. 

Castiel continued to fondle Dean, as he kept ramming himself into Dean’s well-fucked hole. His lover was still dripping cum as Cas thrust his cock deep within Dean’s body. Four, five, six forceful plunges and Cas was spilling into the condom. He must have brushed along Dean’s prostate once more, because the man gave a guttural moan, and his softening cock twitched.

Their voices mingled as Cas rode waves of pleasure and Dean’s overstimulated body responded in kind. Castiel couldn’t recall the last time he was so satiated. 

They held one another, their skin tingling, fingers brushing, as they each came down from the intoxication of release. “I haven’t ejaculated that hard in years,” Castiel mumbled after a few minutes. 

Dean barked out a laugh and shifted to press a smacking kiss to Cas’ forehead. “I don’t think I’ve come like that  _ ever _ .” Smiling down at him from where Dean was still perched in Cas’ lap, Dean hummed happily. “What can I say? Something about my Baby, combined with your blue eyes. It really gets me going, Angel.”

Castiel’s usual awkwardness began to set in and he slowly slid his hand off of Dean’s dick and averted his eyes. He was almost more embarrassed by Dean’s nudity than the fact that his own cock was still buried inside the other man.

Dean seemed to pick up on Castiel’s discomfort. He lifted Cas’ chin with a finger and smirked at him. “Welcome to the neighborhood, Cas.”

“Thank you,” Cas was horrified at the blush that raged through him.

Taking pity, Dean lifted himself up, Cas’ length slipping free of the tight heat of his lover. Awkwardly, Dean untangled his limbs and backed himself, naked, out of the car. He stood behind the open door as he bent over and started searching for his discarded jeans and shoes. Castiel simply pulled the full condom off, tucked himself away, and fastened his pants. Now that they were no longer intimately connected, Cas couldn’t rip his eyes away from the bunch and stretch of Dean’s musculature. The man looked like he was carved out of marble, for fuck’s sake--and Cas had had him.

“So,” Dean’s voice was deceptively casual as he pulled up his jeans. “Do you still want to have dinner with me?”

“Of course,” Castiel said emphatically, as he slid out of the car and stood in front of his neighbor. “I find myself very much wanting to spend my time with you, Dean.”

The man’s features relaxed into a stunning smile. “Awesome.” Still shirtless, Dean shifted his weight and bit his lip, which made Castiel consider bending him over the hood of the car, right then. “I was worried you didn’t like me since, you know, we kind of just,” Dean trailed off.

“Fucked without warning?” Cas arched a brow.

“Yeah,” Dean chuckled. “Not my usual style.”

“Mine either,” Castiel admitted. “Something about you was overwhelming--in a wonderful way. I look forward to being your neighbor, Dean.” They both smiled. “Though,” Castiel continued in a teasing manner. “If you greet any other neighbors in a similar fashion, I would most likely be very jealous. And I’d have to punish you.”

“Gotta say, I kind of like the sound of that, Cas.”

“Good to know.”

“Oh, shit,” Dean said suddenly. “We’ve gotta find your robot vacuum!” 

Cas rolled his eyes and reached for Dean’s hand. “I’ve decided to give it up to the wilds. It’s either long gone, or the battery is dead by now. No matter,” he shrugged as the two of them moved toward his home. “Gabriel can always purchase another. He’ll enjoy the story at the very least.”

Dean laughed softly and leaned in to press a kiss to Cas’ jaw, and his heart ached at how much he adored the touch. Something about Dean was so right--as though they’d known one another for ages. Castiel looked forward to the future with this gorgeous creature living next door. “Let me just lock up and throw _ this _ away,” he waved the tied off used condom. “Then we can go over to yours for dinner.”

“Sure thing,” Dean said easily. “I know that  _ I  _ worked up an appetite,” he winked saucily, making Cas groan. Apparently Dean’s only flaw, thus far, was that his sense of humor was similar to Gabriel’s. Cas could live with that.

As they walked into the house, Cas could hear a clunk, followed by a telltale whir. He and Dean looked at one another and both went straight for the noise. A series of happy tones rang out in the mostly empty house, causing the two men to follow the sound. They walked into the laundry room at the back of the house and stared. 

There, sitting on its charging dock, was the Roomba. 

“Son of a bitch.”

**Author's Note:**

> I really need to focus on the chaptered WIPs I have going right now. Someone stop me from opening new google docs.


End file.
